Task: To Breathe
by Antigone1Evenstar
Summary: Tsunayoshi never wanted to be a Mafia Boss. Eventually, maybe someone listens. AU, drabbles.
1. Tsuna I

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>Tsuna was very familiar with the condition of being helpless.<p>

He'd spent many years of his shining youth existing in said state, it was a well-practiced condition.

Helpless described him and school, bullies, gossip about him, and the amount of time his mother spent alone in her room on certain special occasions. In general, most of his life.

Tsuna learned a more severe degree of helpless once his Mafia training started. Helpless was watching people you cared about (more than yourself) get hurt for your sake. Helpless was having your father plan your life out for you while increasing amounts of (increasingly _powerful_) people agreed with him. Helpless was nights awake remembering how Byakuran spent his last moments at your hands.

Fourteen is rather young for killing.

It helps a little when he considers that the current Byakuran is alive, or is it that the Byakuran of his world is alive? (He can never catch up with dimension vs. time travel, no matter how many diagrams Gokudera draws to try and explain it)

But helpless, he realizes finally, is having your life almost certainly halved by a career choice. Helpless is looking ahead to the future and knowing that the few remaining years he has will be spent doing everything he despises. It is killing and losing bits and pieces and dragging everyone he loves down with him. Under the banner of Duty.

Helpless feels a lot like suffocation.

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><p>Ok. So I was looking around my new fandom and found a fic where Tsuna doesn't want to be a Mafia boss, and he sticks with that until about 3 chapters from the end, where he suddenly changes his mind and goes for it. Can't remember the fic name, but that got me started. And of course I read "Things Left Unsaid" by Hitokiri-San, which had me wondering.<p>

And then, Cywscross had a conversation on Tumblr about the same topic, and so I felt inspired. This is going to be a series of short stories, attached ficlets really, set in a universe where Tsuna does not want to be a Mafia Boss. And people actually listen.

I know that Tsuna's character growth comes because Reborn tutors him to that purpose, forces him out of complacency. But I also feel for Tsuna because I have been in that position, where everyone is planning things for you and you're expected to just go with the flow. We all have those moments eventually.

Anyway, a few things to keep in mind:

1. AU. Mostly manga centric, but I will be changing things.

2. Very floaty timeline. Fics will play fast and loose with the canon timeline, and the fics themselves WILL NOT be chronological.

3. This has no real 'plot' per say, it is more of a character analysis. Don't expect a solid start and finish.


	2. Tsuna II

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>The difficulty in going unheard is that eventually, you just expect it.<p>

Tsuna knows that he can use his vocal chords, the flinches from those around him when he shrieks is proof of that. But sometimes he wonders because so much of what he says is either ignored or re-interpreted completely. And so, if he shrieks sometimes more than he really needs to (desensitization training from Reborn is actually affective, you know) just to make sure that he gets heard a little-

well.

Because the more things change, the more things stay the same.

Tsuna doesn't resent his growing 'family', not really. But they don't listen to him any more than the bullies did/do, or his teachers, or his dad (or his mom, but that is a _rebellious_ thought), or Reborn. Tsunayoshi is just swept away time and again, and he wonders how long it will be until he's finally tossed away for good, voiceless as ever.

But he loves them all in a way that hurts, and the debt to Vongola keeps piling higher and higher as he realizes just how much he has changed for the better with Reborn's training, how much he can't survive without his friends.

To counterbalance of course, are the years spent without a father and the current death threats and a short life that will be spent 'fixing' a criminal empire ending in violent death but Tsuna is pretty sure he's the only one currently keeping tab.

He can't help it, though. Tsuna really, really wants his family to care about his own interests as much as he cares for theirs. Because it's give and take both ways and maybe it's selfish, but right now it feels like his parents relationship where his mother supports and smiles and cooks and his dad is just gone. Okay, so yes, there is a bit of resentment still. Maybe his dad thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe Tsuna doesn't want to abandon his mother the same way. Whatever.

Ah, but apparently, Tsuna is still useless enough (except when little things like the world are on the line) to be ignored. Even by his friends. Especially by his tutor.

Vongola, Reborn, his stupid father- their real cruelty comes in hooking Tsuna into a lifestyle he can't live without at a price he can't live with.

(But he will, for a while)

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><p>Slight edit: This is now chapter two. The fic is now almost chronological.<p> 


	3. Gokudera I

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>Gokudera wasn't sure when his life had changed so very drastically.<p>

Actually, that was a lie. When he had almost killed himself being so stupidly angry, and a fluffy haired weakling had saved him. That was the moment it all changed.

The fact of the matter was, though, that this drastic change was then augmented by a series of loop-de-loops and drops that made aerial stuntmen envious. When Gokudera had thrown everything he thought he had worked for and wanted away to follow said weakling, and received a friendship, then two, of the kind of loyalty that wasn't supposed to exist anymore.

It made him sick, what he had almost done.

Not trying to kill Tsuna, although that (coupled with the fine example of his lack of control) still made him cringe with guilt. What really made him sick was the fact that he had tried to sentence not just one, but both important people to a life neither had really wanted, signed up for.

A life that his precious _Tenth_ hadn't wanted in the first place, but seemed so glittering that Gokudera had almost kept on ignoring him anyway because honestly, _Vongola Guardian_.

And then one day, Tsunayoshi had just said, in a 'desperate, but I know no one is listening_(caring)_' kind of way that he didn't want to be a Mafia Boss.

_Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't want to be a Mafia Boss. _

It took almost a full minute for the implications to catch up.

No Mafia meant no Vongola, which meant no training, which meant Reborn oh sh-

Calm down, he told himself. Just breathe.

But he started to listen, and noticed how lonely Tenth's face looked when he was ignored again and again and again...

It reminded him of all the times he begged not to be fed poisoned cookies so he could play so he could impress and perform and then subside quietly like the good little bastard shame everyone else knew he was but never said out loud because of course it was better for a child not to know why everyone gave him those _looks_...

Right. Tsuna.

So if Gokudera got to build his own life, a chance to get away from all the sheer crap he didn't want, then the least he could do is give it to Tsunayoshi, who really had just wanted a friend and maybe the chance to be heard.

Reborn or no, Vongola or no, Tsuna wanted to be left alone by crime syndicates and so Gokudera would fight to the death to make sure it happened.

Now, if he could just get the Baseball Idiot in with the program.

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><p>So...<p>

Yeah.

Anybody have their own fanons about the topic?


	4. Gokudera II

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>"Ah, Gokudera-Kun, c-could I ask what you're doing with this? E-exactly?"<p>

"Proving my loyalty to you, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

"I see. But, um, why this?"

"Because, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. About not wanting to be a Mafia Boss. And- well. You are the one who saved my life, not anyone else, or the Mafia, or the Vongola."

Silence cut through his speech as Tsuna realized with rising hope that just maybe _for once,_ someone had actually listened to what he had said. Listened, and heard. It fluttered around his ribcage, and felt surprisingly like nausea. Gokudera seemed to be analyzing him, full brunt of his genius intellect centered on Tsuna and his reactions. It was heady.

Apparently encouraged by the results, Gokudera continued.

"So I decided to retire from the Mafia. I'm former freelance, after all. If the person I'm going to follow doesn't want to be a Mafia Boss, then he shouldn't have to be. No matter who tells him to. Because you know, Tsunayoshi-San, that it isn't going to be easy. In fact, it might be harder trying to keep the full force of the Vongola Famiglia from taking you to Italy and placing you in that throne."

Tsuna didn't want to think about it, but he knew it was true. If the Vongola could pick up a kid who, for well over a decade, had lived as a complete civilian and start grooming him to be (_the Sacrifice_) the next Vongola Boss...

Their chosen tutor was the Number One Hit man, for crying out loud.

So yes, Tsunayoshi was very well aware of the fact that it was a difficult thing he wanted. It really didn't have to be. Surely there were other candidates who actually wanted the job.

"Sawada-San, if this is what you want, then I will support you. As your right hand in whatever non-mafia career you choose." Tsuna was startled when Gokudera turned away violently, almost hitting the nearby bedpost with his face. When he could still see the tip of one currently very red ear, he realized that something very important but sappy was going to be said next.

"And as your friend, I want to help you. Because friends do things like that." Now Tsuna was blushing, and worried because it was a very big thing that Gokudera was saying to him, right now, with a plate full of sandwich crumbs and empty water glasses sitting on the table.

"You will help me? Even if- even if Reborn fights against us?"

Tsuna didn't think that Hayato could blush any more violently. He was wrong. As the thought of trying to go against _Reborn_ made him tremble, a hand landed on top of his.

"Yeah. Even against him."

"Thank-you, H-Ha-Hayato-Kun! But still...do you have to get a tattoo of my face to prove it?"

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><p>Oddly enough, this was the first part of the fic that I wrote, about three weeks before the first chapter.<p> 


	5. Yamamoto I

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>Yamamoto Takeshi was used to being overlooked.<p>

Not in the typical way, of course. He was popular, a sports idol, a fangirl magnet. This didn't mean that he was any good at using the superficial attention for anything meaningful. He wasn't adept at that kind of manipulation. He just floated by, and anything he said or felt that didn't match popular demand was ignored.

It was a little like throwing a leaf against the wind.

And then Tsuna came along and in the face of Takeshi's desperate decision (_because maybe he hadn't meant it but maybe he did and even he didn't know what he was trying to say anymore but Tsuna but Tsuna but Tsuna DID_) and was actually there, looking rather desperate himself even as the rest of the student body just seemed resigned to watch the fall of a star.

Because even if Tsuna had given bad advice at first, he had actually listened and considered, which was more than the rest of his team had done. And even if Tsuna never seemed to realize that he had acted in any special kind of way, Takeshi was convicted that this was a person to hold on to. Before, there had only ever been two, one currently living. Now there was Tsuna, and Gokudera, and very likely more soon enough.

And then one day, Takeshi remembered a face, recognized _that look_- the look that said, 'Why can't I be heard too?'

It froze him cold.

Which was unfortunate, because he was crossing the street with Tsuna, and Gokudera, and the Kid. This forced a disgruntled Right Hand Man (who hadn't actually been claiming that so much, lately) to yank him out of the way of a moving vehicle, and caused Tsuna to get that adorable scrunched worried face, and the Kid to peer at him from under the Fedora.

Once the incident had been passed over, and Takeshi was home, he thought things over.

He knew a few things about Tsuna that were very important to this particular thought.

1. Tsuna hadn't had any friends until very recently.

2. Tsuna wasn't used to telling his friends things about himself, his preferences, his dreams.

3. His father wasn't really in the picture, except (he suspected) to exert pressure. His mother was nice, but clueless in a way that put Takeshi to shame.

4. If Tsuna actually managed to express an opinion, it was something he felt rather strongly about.

So knowing this, he wondered how he could have ignored Tsuna for so long. No wonder Gokudera kept giving him exasperated looks, and lectures, and dynamite burns.

The Game wasn't a Game, and Tsuna didn't want to be involved either way.

The Kid was supposed to make sure he was involved, and was going to drag others- Tsuna's important people who he always seemed so surprised to see still sticking around- into it, perhaps to force Tsuna, perhaps just to recruit them.

Takeshi took up his bat, his favorite practice bat, then lay it aside.

Some things were worth fighting.

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><p>Please don't expect all updates to be this quick. Thanks for reading.<p> 


	6. Yamamoto II

Disclaimer: KHR is not mine, nor do any of the characters belong to me. I make no profit.

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><p>"Ha, hey Tsuna!"<p>

Takeshi slung a friendly arm over Tsuna's shoulders, and Tsuna was secretly grateful that Hayato wasn't there to have another over-protective freak out. It was most likely the stress of remembering that Reborn was here for a specific purpose that went very much against their recent (well, Gokudera's recent enlightenment, Tsuna's long-term dying dream) decision to avoid Mafia involvement.

Tsuna hoped Gokudera wasn't going to give himself an ulcer.

It was rare these days for Tsuna to be out of Gokudera's sight, which he had only allowed after threatening poor Yamamoto with decapitation and castration if anything happened to Tsuna. Takeshi seemed to ignore the threats completely, but did eventually promise to protect Tsuna in a shockingly serious tone.

They were now at Takeshi's house, sitting together on the couch. Takeshi sounded almost the same as usual. Almost.

"Ah, yes Takeshi?"

"You know that Mafia game? I don't think you should play it anymore. It makes you unhappy. And games are meant to be fun, am I right?"

Tsuna almost didn't breathe, but his gaze never faltered.

"Takeshi-"

"I'm sorry, I know I haven't really been listening. You didn't want to play from the start, right? Haha, and I ignored you. I bet that's why Gokudera's been trying to explode me more than usual!" He ended with a brilliant smile, and Tsuna just felt his ribs tighten because finally _finally_ his (best) friend had heard him, but it might be too late all ready and Tsuna had only wanted friends, he hadn't wanted to force them into games of Death and Destruction and Murder and he was tense and tired and-

And Yamamoto had finally heard him. So he smiled back.

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><p>Wow, finally caught up with the chapter backlog. Now, to finish writing the next bit.<p>

Is five rewrites too many?


	7. Ryohei I

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to KHR, or any characters.

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><p>Ryohei knows he isn't the sharpest tool in the (or any) toolbox. Generally speaking, he can claim mastery of one thing (BOXING, to the EXTREME) and competency of another (his little sister).<p>

And for many years, that was enough. He continues to try improving at the whole big brother thing, but little siblings (or maybe girls in general?) are difficult to work with. Fortunately, his sister is pretty easygoing, and appreciates his efforts for what they are. She smiles, and eventually Ryohei learns that Kyoko has different smiles that tell him important things. It's not a perfect system, but he is getting better at it. It's not like he's getting worse, at any rate.

So one day, when she comes to him and she _isn't_ smiling, a red flag goes up in his head, and he does his best to focus and not yell. Extremely.

She asks him if everything is going well, if there is anything he isn't telling her. Ryohei thinks.

At the moment, no one (he knows of) is being threatened, there aren't any contests of strength to be had, and nothing stranger than normal has occurred.

So he tells her this, and Kyoko smiles. It isn't a happy smile though, and being the awesome big brother he is, he expresses his concern. Gently, to the Extreme.

"I just don't think Tsuna-Kun is very happy. He seems upset all the time, worried, and so I thought that maybe something else dangerous was happening."

It isn't a long conversation.

But it left Ryohei with a new concern. For all that he claimed Tsuna as a younger brother, it seemed that he had forgotten to take responsibility for that. Not Extremely cool.

So he started to watch his little brother outside of life-threatening situations, and came to the conclusion that Kyoko was right. Something was upsetting Tsuna, and it was his responsibility to fix it.

The question: How, and what was it?

Or two questions. Whatever. Thinking, Ryohei admitted (quite often) was not his strong point.

But that's what the Octopus head was for, right? Right. Therefore, the obvious answer to his problem was to ask Right Hand Man. If he didn't know what was upsetting his Little Brother, then Ryohei would have to go on a pilgrimage to find God and ask him.

Extreme.

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><p>So the alternate title of the chapter is 'Ryohei you troll' because I was working really, really hard with Hibari and instead our favorite Boxer just kind of jumps in and so...<p>

yeah.


	8. Ryohei vs Gokudera

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to KHR, or any characters.

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><p>The day started out fairly shitty, which was normal enough for Gokudera. He'd been forced to walk alone with Yamamoto to school when Sawada Nana had appeared at the door and informed them of her son's illness. Gokudera would have skipped school right then to nurse him back to health, but he knew that his Jyu- that is, Tsuna (it still felt blasphemous to call him that even in his mind, but he was <em>trying<em>)- depended on his notes. Heaven knows that the Baseball Idiot, while well intending, was thick as a post when it came to almost everything besides swords and baseball.

So he tolerated the laughing idiocy the whole way to school, in the rain, stepped in a puddle, bumped into Hibari, and got yelled at by a teacher.

Fantastic.

What he didn't expect was for the Boxing Idiot to corner him (quietly, which made Gokudera suspect UMA brainwashing) and ask him about Tsuna.

The conversation was hectic, and made Gokudera want to blow something/everything up. It took a while to realize that he wasn't being asked about -Tsuna and his current illness, but his overall status. Which brought Gokudera up short.

"Look, Octopus Head, Tsuna is- I claimed him as my little brother, which makes him my responsibility. Kyoko is worried about him, and I want to know what's wrong so I can Extremely help!"

He'd grown louder and louder, which made Gokudera glad the classroom was empty. He eyed the Idiot.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Of course!"

"Are you sure? Because I know you pretty well, Idiot. You like boxing, your sister, and your life. This isn't what you've been playing, in whatever stupid scenario you've worked out. This isn't a _game,_ and if you want to know what's bothering T-Tsuna, then you have to be serious."

"I can be serious-"

"No you can't. You can be loud, and annoying, and you can fight. That's it. Tsuna doesn't need another clueless person, he needs help with a matter that could get him killed. That could get us ALL killed. If you can't figure it out by this point, then you need to just walk away. Leave us all alone, and go back to punching things."

He shouldn't have been surprised when Ryohei threw him against the wall, but he was. Looks like Shitty Day part II was beginning. Bristling, he pushed back, but didn't move the Boxer back as much as he would have liked.

"Gokudera! I _know_ I'm not as smart as you! That's why I'm asking! I don't know what Tsuna needs help with! I don't know why he looks so upset all the time! THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU! BECAUSE YOU KNOW AND I DON'T!"

Ryohei stepped back and took a deep breath.

"I need your help because I'm not sure what's wrong, and that is Extremely frustrating. Just TELL me, so I can help! Please!"

Gokudera sat down at a desk to assess the situation. Well, it was actually fairly possible that the Idiot really didn't have a clue.

"Fine. But listen carefully, I'm only explaining this to you once, got it? And seriously, no yelling!"

Ryohei stopped before his mouth fully opened, and instead smiled and fist pumped.

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><p>Ah. So. Not sure I have a good grasp of either character, or their interactions, but here it is.<p> 


	9. Ryohei II

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to KHR, or any characters.

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><p>Returning to school after his convalescence, Tsuna had been forewarned by Hayato (first name basis!) that his 'Big Brother' wanted to talk with him. This made Tsuna twitch a bit, because he really preferred handling Ryohei and his enthusiasm from long distances or in group settings, where all that Dying Will wasn't focused directly on him.<p>

Plus there was the fact that he shared flame type with Reborn, which always had Tsuna on edge. Because okay, maybe it wasn't just flame type, but still, sadism could be found in the strangest places.

But Ryohei was part of his family (never ever famiglia, he would maintain that to his dying breath whatever Reborn wanted, whatever his _dad_ decided), and Tsuna could hardly say 'no'. Plus, there was something in the way Hayato had said it that told him it was important. Hayato had more than a few non-verbal cues, and they all said that he knew what Ryohei wanted to talk about.

So he met up after school in the park. It was the first time he had seen Ryohei _still_ outside of a coma, and it looked wrong and slightly terrifying. But he was smiled at, and considering how many members of his family used smiles as secondary (or primary) methods of communication, Tsuna easily read the reassuring intent.

This was how Tsuna found himself sitting in the park, rather calmly, with the most excessively energetic member of his group. Who managed to surprise him yet again when he grabbed him in a hug which did _not_ crush his ribs to powder.

"Tsuna! I extremely apologize for being a terrible Big Brother! I Extremely forgot my responsibilities- and I never noticed that you didn't want what everyone was making you do." Ryohei, once again acting out of character, grew quieter as he spoke. This, Tsuna recalled, was the look he got as he settled into position before a match, sheer concentration and determination in singular focus.

"Ah, you don't have to-"

"I do. If Kyoko was in trouble, would you expect me to just leave her to work it out alone?"

"No!"

"Extremely correct. Why would you expect to be the exception to the rule?"

Because he always was before, Tsuna didn't say. So he didn't answer.

"Tsuna. Do you want to be a Mafia Boss?" This was easier.

"No."

"Then I will Extremely make sure you don't have to be."

"I don't think-"

"Neither do I, usually, but I get things done anyway through my Dying Will!"

Tsuna couldn't do anything else. He laughed.

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><p>I will be travelling. So don't expect anything for a while. Saturday will likely be the soonest, although there is that one massive layover...dunno. It will depend on internet connection.<p>

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing!


	10. Mukuro I

Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding KHR. This is purely for fun, not profit.

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><p>Mukuro was unsettled.<p>

Which generally meant bad things for those in the vicinity, which his little posse had figured out quickly and therefore kept a weather eye out for.

Long story short, he wasn't being bothered much.

This was fine with Mukuro. He required a bit more time for mental pursuits (he had plenty of time currently, trapped inside a giant water tank).

What was _unsettling_ him was the fact that, for all intents and purposes, his little Decimo wasn't planning on becoming so. This put more than one wrench in his plans (for cleansing the Mafia away, taking over the Little Vongola body, getting the hell out of the water jug), and he disliked it when things he wanted didn't happen. Even the Estraneo scientists tried to keep him satisfied (or unconscious) because if Mukuro was good at one thing, it was causing trouble.

The difficulty here was, Mukuro didn't want to cause trouble for the Little Decimo who didn't want to be.

Actually, Mukuro wished he hadn't realized any of this in the first place, but it was too late now. He was a realist through and through though, and hadn't gotten where he was today by denying reality. Except he had (and hadn't) because he _was_ an Illusionist, and thought Little Vongola was a pushover (he was, just not when his friends were in danger), and technically yes Mukuro was a criminal on multiple levels.

A criminal against criminals. A criminal among criminals. Or were those Lawyers?

And now he was drifting. Get it? Because he was in water- never mind.

But it, unfortunately, was true. Mukuro found himself unwilling to force Tsunayoshi into the path intended for him.

Not out of the goodness of his heart. He didn't have one, obviously.

Still, it would put out all the Ninth Generation stooges in Vongola. The CEDEF leader would likely be very frustrated, and Mukuro always enjoyed pulling the Fools Mask off of Fools (who didn't realize they were, see?). One massive middle finger to the Mafia Institution as a whole. You can't always have your way, you know.

Actually, the more he thought about it, the more he liked Option B. So much chaos! So much FUN. Kufufufu.

The one difficulty here, that he could see, was that it increased the improbability of his ever leaving his personal water heater.

But if he could work on his cute little Tsunayoshi, there might just be another solution...

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><p>So...I was going to keep this for later, but I hate sitting on things. I have no patience, and little self control with my fics. I'm sorry. But you get three Ryohei chapters (with Gokudera) and a Mukuro. Congratulations.<p>

And I had a little bit of fun (too much?) writing out Mukuro and his madness.

Thanks as always for the support.


	11. Tsuna III

I own nothing of KHR.

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><p>These days, Tsuna mostly wandered in a state of shock. He really wasn't sure what had changed so suddenly, but he was incredibly grateful for it every day. Not that his future employment options looked that much brighter, but there was hope at least.<p>

Which was probably foolish, considering the fact that he had three teenaged boys with him against one of the oldest and most powerful Criminal Organizations either side of the Pacific- but then again, those odds didn't sound much different than any other battle he'd been forced into recently. So who could say?

What was constantly surprising Tsuna was how much easier it was to face another day of things he didn't want to do. Not easier in a 'I might enjoy this eventually' kind of way, obviously (because mafia bit aside, no sane person _wants_ to be trained by a psychotic demon baby). But-

**Glomp**

"Best Little Brother of mine! An Extreme good morning!"

But this. Granted, it came with extra bruises (goodbye, spleen. Hope you weren't important) as well as-

"Idiot! Hands OFF of-" Hayato's rising blood pressure and-

"Haha! Good morning Tsuna! I get a hug too, right?"

"NO YOU DON'T BASEBALL FREAK" Takeshi making everything worse (he was doing it on purpose, Tsuna was sure).

But they felt like friends, and when Tsuna said things like

"What am I supposed to tell my mom?"

Hayato wrote out charts of What and How Much to tell her and Takeshi volunteered his dad who apparently knew "Things" which was surprisingly lucid for Takeshi and Ryohei added statements like

"Maybe you should think about how much like your dad you want to be" which nearly had Tsuna choking for multiple reasons.

(Tsuna had, tentatively, brought up Ryohei and his new..._dedication_ to Kyoko-Chan and she had just smiled and said she was glad, it was about time)

So there was _that_ particular bit of different-but-good in his life now. And while he was still encouraged to enter Boxing about once a week, it was almost like a running joke. An _inside_ joke. Dorky giddiness thy name is Tsunayoshi.

But you know what? He was sitting with Hayato, Takeshi, Yamamoto-San, and Ryohei, and they were all helping him figure out how he was going to tell his mom that his dad had Voluntold him for a position as an International Crime Lord. And it was going to _suck _telling his mom. Despite how crappy the situation was though...having actual support made all the difference.

So Tsuna took a deep breath.

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><p>So.<p>

Hardcore stream of consciousness. Oh, and my little 'Drabble' series is developing plot. Plot! It was just supposed to be a few character thought pieces, and now so help me...

ugh. No really, help me. Wtf am I actually doing?

i mean, besides working on multiple points that bothered me about the story. Like Nana. There has to be a limit to ditzy. (Not really, trust me I know multiple)

and the fact that, outside of life and death situations, the friendship seems thin. Overnight friendships? Can happen, I've had one or two. But it just seemed like a bunch of people banding together only when needed, and even the friendly characters seemed to just...be there, constantly surprised at the others presence.

Vaguely know where the timeline is. Almost.

if you stick with this while I fumble for the plot line, thanks.


	12. Nana I

Once upon a time, a young woman fell in love with a dashing stranger, surprisingly well-off and mysterious.

He loved her, he said, as endlessly as waves on the beach.

He laughed with her at the same things.

He agreed that mushrooms had a nasty texture.

He always remembered the important days.

He told her she was _precious,_ a jewel among women.

She loved him, and he sang her songs of forever-and-a-day and danced even though his feet were sore.

They got married, bought a house-

Oh!

She became pregnant. A boy. She painted, and waited anxiously for him to return, to tell her prince he would be a _father_-

and waited.

Eventually he returned, with flowers and apologies and kisses, so the woman forgave the father of her child. Besides, he was really being a responsible father, earning money for his son-to-be.

But the absences grew longer, and his apologies less and less. But she was a good wife, and smiled. Besides, what husband would want to return to a wife who nags?

So the princess of the story stayed in the castle with her little son, and waited for her prince who sometimes remembered to call at awkward hours, and tended to forget how old his son was. But it was fine, obviously a prince had to work hard for his family.

* * *

><p>Around the tenth time her son caught her crying, he scrunched up his nose and declared his daddy a big meanie head. He was six, and they agreed to disagree.<p>

Still...her fairy tale had crumbled away, and somehow she never noticed.

Her son didn't care about his father. Perhaps it was the time he _promised_ to be there for his birthday (and didn't call for three months) or maybe it was gradual, as the bullies that plagued her baby boy latched on to the perceived weakness of missing a parent and tormented (it wasn't anything less) him.

Or maybe it was once the teachers started dismissing her son, leaving him marked forever as 'stupid' and bully bait and excusing him-

"Well you know how it is. With his father gone-"

Was she that incompetent?

Yet there _was _a gap between her and her son, who was both helpless without her and completely independent. It was all wrong.

But from where?

* * *

><p>Backstory time!<p>

So my thing with Nana is that I generally don't see her involved. Or perhaps proactive? Let me explain. She obviously isn't surprised that her son is failing at school, but waits for the flyer that comes in his early teen years before actually doing something. And it doesn't involve her actively making a change, it depends on someone else.

I know that cultures are different. But if my kid spent eight-some years failing at school, I might hire a tutor sooner. Or something. It's just- there's a whole lot of adults that call Tsuna useless. Not kids, adults. Including his mom, and I can't quite tell how/how much she means it.

But I think she also has a side to the story, including a deadbeat husband who obviously doesn't care enough to include her in some big decisions. So this isn't intended to bash her, but simply raise a question or two.


	13. Nana II

I own nothing regarding KHR.

* * *

><p>Nana knew she was imitating an owl, just blinking and staring silently.<p>

Mafia.

_Mafia._

And her little boy-

Her _husband._

He didn't even ask her.

Maybe she forgot things she shouldn't, and yes, she probably didn't know her son as well as she could. But for her husband to decide (without her!) to throw _her_ son, the child _she_ had actually been around to raise, to an international crime group, to decide the future for both her and her son...

She knew he thought the job was important. A large part had always hoped it wasn't really more important to him than the family. Here it was, the proof.

"Um, mom, I'm sure that dad can explain his...reasoning to you better than I can. I'm just telling you my part of it."

Even as much as he -disliked? distrusted?- his father, Tsu-Kun wanted to soften the blow. _There_ was her sweet son, the part she always cherished most, the part she clung to whenever she found a new failed test, when he screamed his way past the local Chihuahua, when he gave up and spent his time alone, doing nothing.

"But, that's why Reborn came. That's what I've been doing with everyone."

"Gokudera-Kun? Yamamoto-Kun? Lambo-Kun? Even Sasagawa-"

"Ah, um, only Ryohei. Kyoko-Chan doesn't know anything about it. Actually, until recently I don't think her brother knew about it, either. He had to ask Hayato, who explained it. Since he's actually from the Mafia, himself."

"I see."

A little, anyways. So this 'Vongola' was responsible for both helping her son grow up and trying to kill him all at once.

Was this what her mother meant when she told her that children were a terrible kind of joy?

"Mom? Please, I know it's a lot, but I just want to warn you. I- I don't _want_ to be in the Mafia, but it might happen anyway. We, my friends and I, are going to try not to. But if it does happen, then just know that I promise: I won't leave you alone like dad."

It was the solemn look in his eye that made her start crying. Her Tsu-Kun looked so very serious, and also rather like he would fight the world to keep that promise.

"Mom?! What's wrong, I'm sorry! Have a tissue-"

The Mafia had given her the son of potential she had always seen.

The Mafia wanted to take that all away.

Over her dead body. Besides, Iemitsu had some _explaining_ to do...

* * *

><p>Sorry for the wait. Because this suddenly went from just character bits to actual story, I had to re-write all my plans. I now have actual notes, which I almost never do.<p>

Plus, I want to walk a balance. Because in the manga, it _seems_ as though Nono is fairly willing to let Tsuna leave if he wants, but circumstance draws him back in. Not that Nono actually gives up the idea, he says. What that means we never see, since (like I said) circumstances interfere and Tsuna goes through the ceremony anyway. Even at the end, Reborn just declares him 'Neo Primo' instead of 'Decimo' and continues. So there's an inevitability over the whole situation, whatever Tsuna himself wants.

TLDR: Mafia business is difficult to leave. KHR is hard to write because one minute Naito Longchamp and toddler 'stinky' assassins with bad vision, next minute Yamamoto's on the roof and Dino's been told to kill Gokudera if he fails a loyalty test.

Thanks for the support!


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